Men are from Mars - where are the rest of you from?


The Process
Helpful Hints


(No, not games to play.  Games THEY play!)

The circus is coming to town!


Well alright!  We met her, got together with her, and even impressed her with our "domestic skills"  Now is when the real drama begins.  The games she will begin to play!  Unless you are absolute soulmates who fell over in love at first sight with one another, she will test every facet of your being in every possible way.  And she has no rulebook governing her.  Even the most saintly of women will play one of the following games (or some even more dastardly).  This will most surely happen in the first few months of your relationship. 

In no way possible can we come even close to documenting even .00001% of the games she will play and that you will eventually encounter.  Here are some of our favorites and suggested (if not proven) resolutions for them.


#1 and the most deplorable:

The Brush Off
Here's how this one goes:

You've known her for months and see each other every day.  Her eyes sparkle when she looks into yours.  She is never without a smille when you are together.  She tells you anything and always laughs at your jokes and corny antics.  She also happens to be a absolute hottie!  Maybe when you met, you were with someone else.  She was with someone else.  Now, as luck would have it, neither one of you are.  So some time goes by, you're moving on from your ex and begin to think "Man, I think it's time to get together with her."  So after subtly making your feelings known, you ask her out - "Ya, I'd love to do something this weekend.  Call me Saturday!"  So you call her on Saturday.  You get the machine.  Or her roommate answers and says she's taking a nap.  You have alternate plans (all of us Boy Scouts do) and go ahead and do those.  Hey - the weekend's only so long.

She continues the flirting the next week, you ask her out again, and again she says yes.  And (damn her to hell) she fucking does it again.

What to do about it:

Keep cool.  If she's napping or away for a bit but is expected back, you might want to try later - one time.  If you do have alternate plans that sound like they may be fun, then the hell with her.  Especially if you called at the specified time and she is - or pretending to be, not there.  She's probably testing your desire and persistence, but don't give in and get over-eager.  Don't let her think you're such a knob that you don't have anything better to do.  Let her be the one who sits around watching crappy movies in her sweats and eating ice cream.  And wondering what you are doing.

The 3 Rule.  Albeit my co-conspirtator on this web site and I disagree on the specific number (I'm more in favor of 2), this is the rule for this game.  If she does it once and still is constantly flirting with you and showing interest, give her another chance.  If she blows you off (or something has come up) the next time, well then, you have to use your discretion.  How bad do you want her.  OK, you want her pretty damn bad.  If she does it this third time however - thats it.  Put her out of your mind.  If you're a good Boy Scout, you've been putting together an assortment of alternative prospects.  Now is the time to put your efforts toward prospect number one.

Why do they do it?

One of two reasons:  They are trying to see to what lengths you will go, or, she never intended to be with you to begin with (she just digs having a hot guy chase after her).  If it does go to 3, it is probably the latter.  Or she is a drama queen.  Either way, it is frustrating and it stings a guy's pride a little.  That's why I am in favor of the 2 rule - don't give her the chance.  You are not a play toy.  However, if her intentions are the former, then you may be blowing a great opportunity to be with a great girl.  Shucks.  But once again, you are not a play toy.  You wouldn't have bothered asking her out in the first place if you didn't really mean it, would you?  She should not have suspected the sincerity of your intentions in the first place.


#2 and, well, equally deplorable:

Please!  Do anything, but please don't make me     jealous!                                                                                                                                           Here's how this one goes:

Man, this may be number two on this page, but this is the most frequently played game of all, and probably the most annoying.                                  

bulletScenario A:  So you meet, you dig each other and then you start dating.  Nothing too fast - one night a week or so you get together, get to know more about each other and have a good time.  You're really starting to dig on this one.  And one sunny day when she knows you are 100 yards away, you notice out of the corner of your eye that the guy she's talking to is leaning in to kiss her.  You're cool and don't say anything.  And you still appear to be the center of her universe when you're side by side.  No harm done - after all, you don't know him.  Maybe they're really old freinds.  Or maybe....just maybe....she's trying to make you jealous!
bulletScenario B:  You've been going out for months and have even discussed moving in.  Even worse, you've actually discussed marriage!  So you hit a rocky spot in your relationship because you can't be together as often as you like.  You seem to be having less pleasant conversations than you used to.  And after you don't hear from her for a few days, you finally do.  She tells you she's met "this guy" and they are really made for each other.  She tells you he possesses all these qualities she longs for. Like poetry, piano music, art - all the things she loves that you grin and bear for her.  And things that make you want to puke blood.  So even though you are shocked, you pretend to accept the fact and support her decision.  Five days later her best freind calls you and tells you she hasn't seen or heard from your gal, and her car has been at home.  You tell her friend about "this guy", and she informs you that there is no such dude.  Ironically, two days after your conversation with her best gal pal, she e-mails you.  And here's the fucking funny part....she actually has the gall to tell you this:  "We've tried three times, and I truly think he's gay.  What I mean is erectil (sic) dysfuction.  And I just don't feel right with him.  I think it's because of you............"  Thank her for trying to make you jealous!  

What to do about it:

Once again, keep cool.   Not only is this the most annoying game, it is the hardest to troubleshoot.  Very few people can actually say that they don't have a jealous bone in their body.  In either of the above scenarios, you cannot gauge the "honesty" of the "cheating" act.  In either case, they come back to you.  That's if you keep your cool - I've not yet studied what happens if you get all jealously fucked-up.

Is this for real, or a put on?  Only you can determine that.  So many variables are involved, such as level of commitment.  Scenario B is obviously a ploy, given away by her best friend and the sheer corniness of the situation.  You know it's a put-on driven by insecurity.  You decide whether it's worth it or not.  Scenario A, well that's a little harder to handicap.  Is she seeing someone on the side?  Is she simply doing it to see how you react?  That's where level of commitment comes in - if you're seeing someone else, then don't hold it against her if she is too.  If you're not and she doesn't know that fact - well, chances are you don't know her situation for sure either.  If the two of you do have a commitment, and you know she's cheating on you - then dump her ass!    Once again, only you can decide.  In any event, whether she's playing the game or cheating on you - be a man.  If you determine it's a game - don't ridicule her for it, forget about it (unless it becomes habitual).  If she's fuckin' around on you then go on a bender.  Sleep enough to recover and get your ass off the couch, find a hottie, and get laid!

As I said - there are just too many games to rapidly document.  This page is still under construction and will be for a long time, because you will send us the 411 on the games you've noticed and have had to go through.

We look forward to hearing from from you.  Like I said, we can only document so many at a time.


Name or Alias:

E-mail address:

And the game you wish to warn the world about:


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